How has the definition of love evolved in modern internet culture?

The word love has changed in modern culture (according to the internet)

As I sit here in a coffee shop at 7 am on a Saturday I am sifting through some of my comments on social media, looking for things that people have asked me about in an effort to understand better and help bring some level of insight to the things they’ve commented or said.

One big takeaway is the shaping of ‘love’ in our current climate.

So naturally I do my research and one of the sites I use to see what the most searched questions in a particular topic had some surprising results.

The top 5 per style of question or search:

Love as a question:

• Are the couples on Love Island still together?

• Why love me?

• Can Love bombing be good?

• How Love Island works?

• What love is

Love as a preposition:

• Love without end

• Love can build a bridge

• Love is blind

• Love for mankind

• Love near me

Love as a comparison:

• Love and Hip-hop

• Love vs Design

• Love vs in love

• Love or Money

• Love Like You lyrics

So naturally we have an affinity with Love Island (here in America at least).

The overall truth is that love has become very confusing and naturally so. Our depiction of true love has been so diluted by culture that we have lost the essence of sacrifice, we no longer equate love with a full giving of self but rather with a guarded self, we have believed that we are unlovable or that the risk of love, isn’t worth the reward.

Sadly this has become a negative feedback loop of love:

I was done wrong → I don’t give fully → I break someone’s heart → They do someone wrong → I meet someone in that circle → I was done wrong ←

We create cycles of pain whether through our actions or through our fear and inaction.

The fear of being hurt has robbed you of the chance to be fully loved, your need to protect your heart has become the reality of hardening your heart!

But how do we fix this? How do we go from hurt to healed?

The truth is that this is a process that will take time, but it’s a healing that can only happen through being, not avoiding.

Being in a relationship that’s healthy (even if you feel like it’s a little boring).

It’s through putting yourself through the process to be “rehabbed”.

It’s through choosing to remain in what’s good even if your internal pain is telling you to run in fear; the reality is that it will never go away until it loses its power you have to confront the cycle to break it.

You deserve real love not the modern interpretation of it.

The generic version of love is cheap and quick but nothing like the authentic version, yes, it’s costly, but it’s pure and purposeful. When we stop accepting cheap love we begin to hold onto the real thing, it might not look like what you thought it would be if it:

1. Feeds you: Motivates and inspires you to be better.

2. Grows you: Pushes you to be the best version of yourself.

3. Challenges you: Doesn’t believe you are mediocre and doesn’t let you stay as such.

4. Connects you to what you believe: Guides you and ties you deeper to your Faith.

Then it’s worth fighting for.

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." — Erica Jong