Holding On is Hurting You More Than You Realize

Holding On is Hurting You More Than You Realize

When Letting Go Feels Like the Hardest Thing to Do

You ever feel like you're gripping a rope that's slowly slicing through your hands, but you just can't seem to let go? Yeah, me too. And let me tell you, you're not alone.

The real reason we struggle to let people go (or let them love us, for that matter) usually boils down to one thing: fear. Not choosing is still a choice. I know—I’ve been there. Sometimes we convince ourselves that staying where we are, even if it’s painful, is better than stepping into the unknown. But guess what? Choosing to stay in the thing that’s hurting you is just like signing up for round two of the same emotional boxing match. You might dodge a few punches, but eventually, you're going to take a hit.

Familiar Pain Feels Like Home (But It Shouldn't Be)

Ever find yourself holding onto relationships or situations that, deep down, you know aren’t serving you? It’s like rewatching a bad movie hoping the ending will magically change. Spoiler alert: it won’t.

We cling to familiar pain because, well, it’s familiar. It's like that old, slightly toxic friend who somehow always talks you into one more round of bad decisions. We know how much it hurts, but at least it’s a pain we understand. The unknown? That’s terrifying.

But here’s the thing: just because something feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s good for you. You wouldn’t curl up in a blanket made of cactus needles just because it’s the one you’ve had forever, right?

Fear of Change Keeps Us Stuck

Science even backs this up. Ever heard of homeostasis? It's our brain’s way of keeping things balanced, even if that balance is completely off. Our mind tells us, "Hey, let's just stay here where things are predictable," even if "here" is emotionally draining.

The truth is, sometimes the stream we’re floating in is pulling us toward a waterfall, and we’re too scared to swim to shore. Letting go means accepting that swimming to safety might be hard work—but it beats the alternative.

Relationships Shouldn't Require Begging

Here’s a hot take: if you have to beg someone to stay in your life, they’re not supposed to be there. Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely.

Think about it—healthy relationships don’t require constant convincing. Yes, effort is important, but effort has to be met with mutual interest. If someone wants to be in your life, they’ll show up. They’ll put in the work. If you’re out here feeling like you’re auditioning for a role in someone’s life every day, it might be time to rewrite the script.

We’ve all been there. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we just try harder, they’ll stay. But you know what trying harder often does? It feeds their ego. Suddenly, you’re not just in a relationship; you’re in a power struggle. And if someone needs to feel superior by watching you beg, that’s not love—that’s control.

Nothing Good Forces You Out of Character

Here’s your reminder: anything good for you won’t require you to step out of character to keep it. If something’s meant for you, it’ll ask to stay, not the other way around.

I promise you (yes, even if we’ve never met) that the things meant for you won’t have you pleading to hold onto them. Love doesn’t look like you on your knees, asking someone to care. It looks like two people standing side by side, choosing each other every day.

Why We Avoid Healthy Relationships

Funny enough, many of us avoid healthy relationships because they feel unfamiliar. We’ve been living with our hurt for so long that the idea of something healthy feels... suspicious. When good people show up, we question their motives. "Why are they being so nice? What do they really want?" Sound familiar?

Healing requires growth, and growth is uncomfortable. But that discomfort is a sign you’re stepping into something better. Staying in pain, though? That’s a slow burn that eventually leaves you empty.

The Rope Analogy (A Visual You Won't Forget)

Imagine holding onto a rope that's being pulled away from you. The longer you grip it, the more it cuts into your hands. You bleed, you hurt, but you don’t let go because… what if letting go means falling?

Here’s the kicker: sometimes the rope isn’t holding you up. It’s just keeping you stuck. Letting go might mean falling for a moment, but it’s the only way to find solid ground again.

Choose Your Pain (The Good Kind)

Life comes with pain—that’s inevitable. But you can choose the pain of staying the same or the pain of growth. One keeps you stuck; the other moves you forward.

A lot of people are just surviving—not thriving. And the biggest reason? They’ve accepted the bare minimum as their reality. But you deserve more than that. You deserve a life that feeds you, not one that leaves you emotionally starved.

So here’s the real question: are you holding onto something that’s cutting you? And if so, are you ready to let go?

You’ve got this. And if you need to, I’ll be right here, cheering you on every step of the way.