The science behind love (Love hacking)

C8H11NO2 + C10H12N2O + C43H66N12012S2

(Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin)

the science behind love and love hacking

I remember in one of my organic chemistry classes our assignment was to identify the above chemical compositions... Our job was to know what they produced especially in combination. It surprised us to find out that this was the release when someone felt ‘love’. Often were searching for a ‘spark’ which isn’t a spark at all it’s just a chemical release from the synapses of our nerves.. the truth of the matter is that this chemical release is: [the science behind love and love hacking]

1. Addictive, we constantly want to feel this particular combination.

2. Fades, IT DOES NOT LAST.

Real love doesn’t come from a reaction in our bodies, but rather a choice in our hearts. It’s choosing to be/do what someone needs, caring enough to build even when that addiction is kicked. WE decide where our love is invested, even if it has been spent in bad places, our new investment in something good provides growth! Granted, we can and do feel these chemicals from time to time but imagine feeling it always. You’d never value that sudden rush of ‘I love you’ that kicks in. You’d be desensitized to the reality and power of that rush.

It is the contrast not the constant, that allows us to really value what it is to feel these chemicals.

Ironically the best way to fully learn to love is to learn to allow people to be and to accept what they show you, like not create this false character of who they are but accepting who they freely are. It isn’t basing your actions or life decisions on an emotional moment but a passionate choice.

A choice to choose.

A choice to be.

A choice of what is real and what is ‘induced’.

It can be addictive:

Sometimes we think we are madly in love with someone but in reality, we are junkies to emotional stimulation. We are looking for a repetition of that initial spark that in reality will never be the same, we may have many instances where we have different experiences with similar draws to them but still unique enough that they never feel the same.

This is especially true with traumatic or ‘toxic’ relationships, the reality that we become addicted to the rush of our cortisol levels, which in itself can be addictive. This, while not an excuse, can also explain why you keep reverting to that toxic relationship, more on that later.

First Cortisol:

Cortisol is a steroid hormone that the adrenal glands produce to help the body respond to stress and danger. It's also known as the body's primary stress hormone and has many other important functions, including:

• Regulating metabolism [actually settles in your midsection as .. FAT!]

• Controlling blood pressure

• Reducing inflammation

• Increasing blood sugar levels

• Enhancing the brain's use of glucose

• Making substances available to repair tissues

• Slowing nonessential or harmful functions during a fight-or-flight response

So back to that being addicted to Cortisol.

This is the crazy thing about being addicted to cortisol, is that it isn’t solely for romantic relationships, but even the relationship with yourself. There are those people we meet from time to time that we wonder why they are so miserable always or those people who are constantly in an anxious state and while there can be so many other principles to this, the reality is that cortisol plays a role no matter what.

Cortisol is a principal hormone in all kinds of addictions but we become addicted to the subtle rush of adrenaline that’s why it’s known as the ‘fight or flight’ hormone, something pumps through us, even if it is anger.

Like any addiction separation from the thing you have been hooked on is the best way to wean off. You have to create space to be able to stop giving that thing power.

Are you addicted to how they treat you or how you believe you feel?

It Fades:

The truth is that emotions fade even the addictive ones, they sadly deplete and we are left with a feeling of ‘sadness’. We can not base our life choices on how we feel, we will never get anything done. Instead understand that at the core of everything, it is will, not feel, that will change our lives. It is the reality of knowing what is real and what is emotionally charged that will allow us to create space and separation over what we want to do and what we need to do.

Emotions will fade but who/what you choose

will be based on what you know to be true.

Don’t let how you feel rob you of what is real.