Sunk Cost vs. Self-Worth: What a Rusty Nail Taught Me About Letting Go

Josh Rosa
May 27
3 min read

Sometimes We Want Something So Badly…

We stay, even when it’s hurting us. We push, even when it's not pushing us back. And we bleed, metaphorically—or even literally—because we believe that pain must mean we're on the right path.

But is that really true?

A Nail, a Baseball Game, and a Lesson I’ll Never Forget

When I was a kid, like every good Dominican boy, I played baseball. One day, while at my grandmother's house, I stepped on a rusted nail. It pierced straight through my foot. I was bleeding, in agonizing pain but I had a game to pitch.

Instead of telling anyone, I wrapped my foot up and went to the field. About three innings in, the coach finally noticed I was limping and my foot was massively swollen and blood-soaked. When he asked what happened, I told him the truth.

That moment sticks with me. I risked my health to stay in the game.

Why? Because I wanted it.

But just because I desired it… doesn’t mean I should have stayed in it.

The Sunk Cost Fantasy

That baseball game wasn’t my future. It wasn’t worth the pain. But I thought it was. And that's where many of us find ourselves in jobs, relationships, or projects that no longer serve us.

We’ve invested so much, we feel we have to stay. That’s called the Sunk Cost Fallacy

when we continue an endeavor because of the time, money, or emotion we’ve already invested, even when it’s clearly hurting us.

Stat to Know: According to a study in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, 80% of people continue investing in failed projects due to sunk costs—even when they see no real future benefit.

Pain Isn’t Proof of Passion

Too often, we confuse passion with pain. We think that if something is hard, uncomfortable, or even damaging, it must mean we care deeply about it. But passion, according to psychology, isn't just suffering.

Psychological Definition of Passion: A strong inclination toward a self-defining activity that one finds enjoyable, important, and invests time and energy into. It is often developed not innate and arises from curiosity and engagement.

Yes, passion can involve sacrifice. But it shouldn't require your soul.

Cultural Conditioning & Confused Loyalty

Especially in certain communities, we’ve been taught that loyalty = pain. That sacrifice = worthiness. That passion = struggle.

But passion that destroys you isn’t passion. It’s misplaced desire. It’s the romanticization of pain. And it’s time to break that pattern.

“You are not an oyster.”

Oysters create pearls through wounds. But you’re not a creature meant to bleed endlessly for beauty.

Growth Hurts, But It Shouldn’t Harm

There is a distinction between growing pains and ongoing harm.

Growing Pain: Comes with learning, stretching your skills, stepping outside your comfort zone.
Ongoing Harm: Comes from repeating cycles that injure your heart, mind, or body with no healing in sight.

You weren’t made to suffer endlessly. You were made to grow.

Practical Ways to Know When to Let Go:

Audit Your Energy – Does this thing give you life or drain you daily?
Check the Reciprocity – Are you giving without ever receiving?
Ask: Is this helping me become who I want to be?

Closing Reflection: The Mountain of You

“The mountain of who you are versus who you can be will come down to what you believe—but even more, to the small things you actually do.”

Letting go of pain disguised as purpose is one of the bravest things you can do.

You're not meant to suffer your way to greatness. You're meant to grow into it—with grace, clarity, and joy.

What Now?

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Comment below: Have you ever confused pain with passion?