The real cost of not being the authentic you. (Finding yourself)

The real cost of not being the authentic you.(Finding yourself)

Finding yourself

The real cost of not being the authentic you. Finding yourself

The reality is that we think that to win like others we have to be like others when we don't know what those 'others' are going through. We mold ourselves and who we are into something different, so of course we're tired, anxious, overworked, frustrated, and honestly unsuccessful. I've been a victim of this.

I realized how successful some people in a certain world of media have been and knew that I could do exactly what they did! Like I could edit videos the way they did and thought to myself maybe I should do that!

The reality is that by every single metric other than flat our editing creativity, I was far more successful. I had better reach, a way bigger following, more engagement, and many many many more 'viral videos'. However, we think that to win like others, we must be in the same realm of perceived success as them.

The best story about success that I’ve heard in a while was actually at a random mass in a random church in New Jersey that I happen to pop in for.

The priest shared this story over the time U.S Senator Mark Hatfield met St. Teresa of Calcutta.

The Senator visiting the orphanage and medical center asked the Mother Teresa,

“How can you be so successful in such terrible conditions?!”

She responded with one of the most profound responses you can give,

“I am not called to be successful, I am called to be faithful”

Now while that clearly indicates towards her faith in God, whether you share that same faith or not is another topic for another day, however, this message applies directly to all of us.

Whether we are in the streets of Calcutta or in your basement with a laptop and a dream, the truth is that you are not called to be successful you are called to be faithful and your commitment will shine through the clutters and stresses of life.

We fail to be faithful to ourselves for a few reasons:

Imposter syndrome [finding yourself and your real voice]

Is the belief that you don’t belong. The thought is that because you don’t measure up to the level of other people, this isn’t a place you should be in.

Well, that is a flat-out lie. You do belong and the fact that others are so good and have all of these abilities doesn’t dismiss the fact that you too are good and are only improving.

The biggest issue with imposter syndrome isn’t even so much the fact that it stops us from even trying or feeling like we don’t belong, is that it limits the ability of your greatness. Whether consciously or subconsciously the thought that we do not belong stops us from pressing into our full ability or capacity.

The truth is that you do belong.

Someone else’s success is not an indication of your ability or inability, you don’t have to be better than them to belong.

Here is the secret: If you learn to celebrate people, you learn to stop comparing yourself. Humility, not ability, is the measure by which we become proud of the place we stand in.

Learn to celebrate others without comparing yourself to where you are or are not.

comparison

This is a huge one for a lot of us, mostly because we compare ourselves to what we envision of people and not to what they truly are. We look at potential and pit our reality against it. Comparison can be a tool when it guides us towards healthy growth but for many of us it’s more of a weight than anything else. You are not made to be someone else you are made to be uniquely yourself and the need to be where other people are is what drives you to look at every little detail of their lives so intently that you miss out on the details of your own life.

Lack of Personal Character

Lack of personal character is like having a ship without a rudder – it leaves you drifting aimlessly, at the mercy of external forces. When you don't have a solid foundation of who you are, you tend to sway with the trends and expectations of others, losing sight of your true self. The real cost here is the loss of your unique voice and perspective, which are your greatest assets. Embrace your quirks, values, and beliefs, because they form the bedrock of your personal character and, ultimately, your authentic success.

A Plan and a Goal

Without a plan and a goal, you're essentially wandering through life without a map. Goals give you direction and purpose, while plans provide the steps to get there. Imagine setting out on a road trip with no destination in mind – you might see some sights, but you'll probably end up feeling lost and unsatisfied. The same goes for your personal and professional life. Setting clear, achievable goals and mapping out how to reach them keeps you focused and motivated, ensuring that you're always moving toward a meaningful end.

Bonus: An Understanding of Your Brand and Strengths

(Finding yourself)

Understanding your brand and strengths is like having a superpower. It means knowing what makes you unique and leveraging those qualities to stand out in any crowd. When you're aware of your strengths, you can play to them, and when you understand your brand, you can communicate it effectively to others.

This self-awareness not only boosts your confidence but also attracts the right opportunities and people into your life. The real cost of not recognizing your brand and strengths is missed opportunities and a lack of fulfillment.

So, dive deep into self-discovery and let your authentic self shine brightly.

By acknowledging and addressing these areas, you can overcome the barriers to being your true self and unlock a more genuine and fulfilling path to success. Remember, the real cost of not being authentic is too high – it robs you of your true potential and happiness.